You start to feel extremely sick.

    "Oh, my God, you're turning blue!"

    "Ach..." you say, "antidote".  You start choking.

    "Fuck!" says Sarah.

    You start to fall over and Sarah catches you.

    She drags you out the back door and to over your van.

    She searches around for the keys and throws you in the back.

    She checks in the dash board and behind the sun visor, but no luck.  Then despite herself, holds open the front of your undies and gropes around.  She pulls out a handful of crushed ice and the keys to your van.

    She starts up the van and peels out.

    The van speeds down to the end of the street, hangs a right, and goes down a block and a half, screeching to a halt on the front lawn of Merv's place.

    Sarah puts you over her shoulder and hefts you to Merv's front door which she kicks open.

    "Hello?" says Merv from the living room.

    "Merv!" shouts Sarah, walking down the hall into the living room.  "Brad swallowed a poisonous fungus mold.  Whip him up an antidote right now!"

    "What?!" says Merv.

    "Don't play stupid, Merv.  Get an antidote together now or he's gonna bite it."

    Sarah walks into Merv's kitchen and opens the cabinets under the sink revealing boxes upon boxes of pills and elixers.

    "Man!  I was savin' that shit for the millenium party!"

    "Merv!" barks Sarah.

    "All right, all right."  Merv sits down on the kitchen floor.

    He fiddles around with a few bottles, examining labels and warnings.

    "Merv, hurry!"

    "OK, OK...  I haven't really done much antidote conjuring in my time, you know.  Now if your father were here -- then we'd be getting somewhere."

    "Where's the phone?" asks Sarah.

    "Here," says Merv, handing her his cell-phone.

    Sarah dials her dad's number.

    "Yeah?" says Sarah's dad, Mark.

    "Dad!" shouts Sarah.  "Brad swallowed a poisonous fungus mold!  I'm at Merv's.  We need to make an antidote fast!"

    "All right, all right," says Mark.  "Hmmm.  OK, what color was the fungus mold?"

    "Sort of beige with spots of blue and green."

    "OK... and right now what color would you say Brad's skin is right now?"

    "He's blue."

    "Be more specific.  Think Crayola.  Is he midnight blue?  Blue-green?  Locust blue?  What?"

    "I don't know... uh, cerulean?"

    Merv nods in agreement.

    "OK, let me talk to Merv, honey."

    Sarah hands the cell phone to Merv.

    Merv nods as he listens to Mark's instructions, digging through boxes, and mixing together powders, liquids, and creams into a beaker as fast as he can.

    "Thanks, Mark," says Merv finally, and hangs up.

    He puts his hand over the beaker and shakes it up.  Then he grabs a turkey baster, and pours the concoction into it.

    "We gotta turn him over.  This stuff goes in through the back door," says Merv.

    Sarah and Merv flip you over onto your stomach.

    Merv pulls down your undies.  He removes some crusty lettuce from your butt crack, and plunges the turkey baster in.

    He squeezes it, and the antidote shoots up into your system.

    "OK," says Merv.

    "Nothing's happening!" shouts Sarah.  "It didn't work!"

    "No, no, it's cool," says Merv.  "Your dad says it takes a couple days before he'll come to."

    "Oh," says Sarah.

    "You wanna watch some TV?" asks Merv.

    "No thanks," says Sarah.  "I'll take Brad back to the basement."

    "Suit yourself," says Merv.  He walks into the living room, plops down on his armchair and continues watching Sesame Street.

    Sarah hefts you back in the van and drives you home.

    She lays you out on the basement floor, and then goes upstairs and bonks Toomey.