...
A few weeks later, Poppy comes down to the basement to some laundry when he sees your decomposing body.
"Aw, Jesus, Brad," he says in disgust. "Go take a shower."
He kicks you and walks past.
...
The next day Sandy comes by the house looking for you. Poppy tells her to go down to the basement "and tell him to take a friggin' shower."
Sandy tells Poppy that if you smell that bad, she'll come back later.
She leaves.
...
Four days after that, Sarah and her new boyfriend Noam are looking for a place shmoke some doobage and get it on. They head down into the basement.
"Fuck, what the hell is that reek?" asks Sarah, opening the basement door.
"Jesus!" says Noam. "Dat one nasty butt-stank!"
Regardless of the smell, they continue into the basement and come across your corpse.
"That is fucking gross!" shouts Sarah. "Nasty!"
Noam is speechless. He drops to his knees. Tears well-up in his eyes.
"Agh! Don't touch him, Noam! Fuck!" shouts Sarah.
Deaf to her warnings, Noam touches your hand and attempts to lift it up to his face. The rigor rmortis causes it to snap off, instead.
"AAAAAAGHHHH!!!" shouts Sarah, running back upstairs.
Through the tears, Noam manages to speak a solitary word.
Sadly he whispers, "...Dad..."
...
A few days later, Noam remembers the date that was scrawled next to your body in dried blood. He spends the next several days researching and interviewing friends and relatives attempting to find out the significance of the date.
Digging through old bills and receipts in Poppy's room, he comes across a medical bill with that date. Noam finds the address of the doctor mentioned on the bill. He drives to the house, but finds that Dr. Morris is long since dead.
His daughter, however, after hearing Noam's story, gives him special access to her dad's old files. Eventually Noam comes accross the medical examination report from that very day.
Powell, Bradford, Jr. - ruptured testicle due to harsh pedial contact
reconstructive surgery successful, 147 stitches applied
charge: $16.00
Noam thanks the doctor's daughter and rushes back to the house. He returns to your corpse and removes your underwear. He sees your scarred testicle, and delicately with an exact-o knife he removes it.
Running a string through it, Noam creates a momento: a necklace he shall wear all his days on Earth.
Sarah dumps him as soon as she sees it, naturally.
...
Noam goes on to become the shortest man to ever play professional basketball in the NBA. After one game in which he scores a career-high 6 points, a reporter asks him about the necklace.
"It my Dad's
testicle. ...Thanks, Dad!" he says happily.
Your final score is:
| 4369 |