Can't be known?!

    Use a little imagination, will you?

    Picture this:

    It is the start of any battle x during the American Revolution.  Now battles were pretty much formal affairs back then, often with predetermined locations and official starts and whatnot.  So you've got your scraggily American minute men gathered on one side of the battlefield, and the well-dressed Brittish Redcoats on the opposite side, and we're about to start firing really inaccurate rifles at each other, but before the festivities begin, we suddenly attatch an elaborate Smell-o-tronic 9000(tm) device that has stank-wiffers(tm) that fit neatly, yet discreetly into the back of the pants of every soldier on the field of battle.  All the individual stank-wiffers(tm) report back to a central stank processor(tm) that can output a detected butt-stank exceeding normal levels [ie. a fart] within a fraction of a second after it is emited from the butt.

    Now you may ask "what happens if, for example, a Redcoat r and a minuteman m both pass gas at the same time?"  Well, although the Smell-o-tronic 9000(tm) is indeed a limited machine, it is not inconceivable that a better, more accurate machine could exist that could, with infinite precision, time each passing of gas, and determine for absolute certain, whether it was in fact r or m who first quiefed in battle x.

    And supposing that in fact both were launched at the exact same time, then so what?  It's a fuckin' tie, OK?