"Oh, my goodness," says Pam sleepily.

    Hee-hee.  She thought it was her!

    This time you try a high-pitched whine.

    "Damn..." says Pam.

    You suppress your laughter.

    A few moments later, you go for a third fart.  But no dice.  Outta gas.

    So you resort to the next bext thing: armpit farts!

    Underneath Pam's bed gets pretty uncomfortably warm after a while, but it's made your armpits nice and sweaty which always makes for better farts.

    You conjure up a nice sqishy one that sounds like a wet fart.

    "Wait a second..." says Pam.  "That wasn't me..."

    Uh-oh.

    Pam stands up on her bed, and then comes down with a body-slam onto her mattress, pushing it right through the bed frame.  The force smothers you into the floor.

    ...

    An hour and a half later, after eighteen attempts to revive you, the paramedics give up.

    ...

    Pam is found guilty of manslaughter, and serves two weeks in prison.
 

Your final score is:

627