You walk out the basement door with Milton close behind.  You open the back doors of the van and the two of you climb inside.

    The van starts right up, and you strike out on the road.

    When the Taco Bell at the Walpole Mall went out of business last year, your enterprising neice Becky, and Milton's sister, Eva, turned the place into a Fries & Fro's franchise.  It's the only place in town you can get a bucket of tasty french fries and a new hair-do all at one convenient drive-thru.

    It's not too far a drive, and soon you pull up to the drive-thru menu.

    "Welcome to Fries & Fro's.  May I take your order?"

    It's Becky's voice.

    "Hi, it's me, Brad."

    "Would you like fries with that?"

    "I don't want fries, Becky.  I'm here with Milton, and we're looking for his--"

    "Thank you, drive-thru."

    "Hey!" you shout.  "Hey, Becky?  ...Hey!"

    There's no response.

    You decide to drive up to the first window and see if there's someone you can talk to there.

    Pulling up to the window, immediately a large robot arm grabs your head and pushes it down against the side door of the van.

    Although you can't see what's happening, you hear many machine noises, some pops and pings, a long whizzzz sound, and finally a big whoosh!  And then your head is released.

    You pull your head back up and look to see if there's a person there to talk with, but the window has closed.

    "Please drive to the next window," announces a loud impersonal voice through a speaker.

    You are driving forward to the next window when you catch your reflection in the rearview mirror.  Goodness!  You've got a lopsided 'fro!

    You reach the next window and Becky thrusts a large bucket of fries at you.

    "That's $4.18 please," says Becky.  "Oh, hi, Brad.  Nice hair-do."

    "Look, Becky, I didn't want this haircut.  I'm just here looking for a penis."

    "Sorry, Brad.  Try Wal-Mart up the road."

    "Not just any penis!  Marty, Milty's penis."

    "Look, Brad.  You're slowing down business.  You gonna pay for those fries or am I gonna call the cops?"

    The car behind you beeps.

    "Fine!" you say.

    You open the glove compartment and remove a sack full of pennies.  You hate to blow your and Merv's "crazy cash" fund on something like this, but you don't really have a choice.

    Fifteen minutes later you have counted out four hundred and eighteen pennies, and you slide them all over to Becky.

    "Thank you for choosing Fries & Fro's," says Becky.  She closes the window.

    You drive off in a huff.

    On the way home you pound back the fries by the handful, hoping that a good ol' binge might get your mind off your frustrating day so far.  You're on your last handful when you hear:

    "Marty!" shouts Milton.

    "I know," you say to Milty.  "But I just don't where Marty is.  I'm sorry I let you down."

    "Marty!" shouts Milton again.

    This time you look over and see that he's pointing to your clenched hand which you find to be holding about seven cold crusty french fries and one little Greek boy's penis.

    "Well," you say, "look at that!"

    You wipe some of the grease off onto your t-shirt and hand Marty over to Milton.  He is delirious with joy to be complete again.  He stuffs Marty down his shorts and happily shouts:

    "Marty!  Marty!  Marty!"

    "I'm happy, too," you tell him.

    You swing the van over to the Sharon House of Pizza.

    "Here, Milty.  You can go home a complete Greek now."

    Milton sits there smiling.

    "I said, 'you can go home now, Milton'.  You've got your wee-wee."

    Milton is oblivious, and sits smiling, slightly rocking back and forth, teetering with joy.

    You lean over and open the passenger-side door.

    "Out!" you say, booting him outside.

    Milton lands on his ass, but still has a smile on his face.

    You peel out, leaving Milton behind.

    You drive back home and park the van.

    A bit tired, you decide to head back down the basement for a little nappy-poo.  You are about to crawl into your favorite spot when you decide that maybe you'd be a little more comfortable without your undies on.

    You slide them down to your ankles, and then you notice something.

    Your penis!

    It's gone!