She changes her position, and you feel your underwear being yanked down.

    And then...
 
    "Woah," says Deborah.  "What's all this crushed ice doing here?"

    Oh, shit!  You forgot about that!

    But just when you think your cover's blown, Deborah growls playfully.

    "You're getting kinky on me."

    Deborah then lowers her head and proceeds to play the jizz-harp like a true virtuoso.  She hits all the right notes, with perfect rhythm, and has a penchant for crafty tempo-switches that send you into a breath-taking crescendo within 12 measures.

    When the piece is over, you lie there in respectful silence.

    Deborah lies on her stomach and turns her head toward you.

    "Now how 'bout you rub that big ol' mustache of yours over my booty?" suggests Deborah seductively.

    Uh-oh.

    Deborah runs her hand up your body and is almost to your face when you grab her wrist.

    "Sorry, baby," you say in your best BOOG voice.  "I gotta be at a basketball game two minutes ago."

    "You son of a bitch!" shouts Deborah as you skeedaddle out of there, hopping down the attic opening into the hallway below.

    You're halfway down the basement steps before you realize you forgot your underwear in the attic.

    Fortunately for you, at Merv's suggestion, as a safety precaution, you set your underwear to self-destruct after 30 minutes away from your butt.

    You decide to hide out in the basement for the rest of the day.

    The next morning at breakfast you notice that BOOG is wearing a large ace bandage over his crotch.