Pam is there.

    She is wearing a skimpy almost see-through red nightgown, white nylon stockings, and is lying temptingly across Sarah's bed.

    "Hello, Brad," she says in a breathy voice.

    "Hi, Pam."

    "I know I haven't treated you so well the past thirty odd years," says Pam.  "But... now I want to make it up to you... somehow."

    Pam licks her upper lip.

    You lick your bottom lip.

    Pam raises one eyebrow seductively.

    You gyrate your hips in a circular motion.

    Pam sticks out one leg and rolls down the the nylon stocking, revealing her bare leg.

    You approach, still gyrating your hips in a circular motion.

    As you're pulling off your shirt, Pam puts her bare foot right between your legs.

    And then she kicks you hard in the groin.

    You buckle over in pain.

    "Sorry, Brad," says Pam.  "But there exists no possible dimension or universe in which I would ever get it on with you."

    She walks out of Sarah's room, pausing to grab the note off the door.  She tears it to shreds and walks off.

    You sit there recovering, wondering if there's any possible universe in which Katie would get it on with you.

    Then Sarah walks in.

    "Brad.  You're in my room.  With your shirt off.  Holding your crotch.  Get out now or I'll call the police."

    Not wishing for any more painful confrontations, you pick up your shirt and head out.

    As you pass Pam's room, you see a note on her door.

    It says: "Brad smells."

    You check.

    The note's right.

    You get out your pen and cross out 'Brad smells' and think of what to write.

    Pam opens the door and reads what you've written on her note.

    "Sorry, Brad," she says, "but there's also no possible dimension or universe in which you don't smell."

    Pam closes the door.

    You walk downstairs.

    You head for the basement.

    "I've learned some important things about the universe today," you think to yourself as you walk down the rickety old basement stairs.  "And now it's time to sleep."

    You crawl in to your favorite spot in the basement, curl up, and drift off to sleep.