You mount the little monkey and let 'er rip.

    When the deed is done, the monkey shares his blanket with you and the two of your curl up together and sleep through the night.

    When you wake up, the monkey and the blanket are gone, and your ankle is bound to the floor by a short chain.

    After a short time, the Greeks open the door to the locker.  The biggest and hairiest of them have bandages over their black eyes from yesterday's scuffle.  And the little monkey is back, perched on one of the Greek's shoulder.

    They slide a tray of food over to you.

    Two slices of Pizza you recognize to be from Sharon House of Pizza, and a small Diet Pepsi.

    They leave you with a basket full of small pieces of paper, a notepad, and a pencil.

    Confused at first, you realize that the Greeks are forcing you to add the day's receipts from the House of Pizza.

    Defiant, you ignore their implied demand.

    Very soon, however, you begin to fear what might happen to you if you do not do as they tell you.  And besides, it will pass the time.

    Six hours later the Greeks come to collect the totals.

    You hand them to them.

    "This is madness!" you protest.  "Can't you just use a computer for this instead of a slave?!"

    One of the Greeks shouts at you and slaps you upside the head.

    "Eep!  Eep!" shouts the monkey.

    The Greeks leave you with another batch of receipts.

    Finally that night when all the Greeks have gone to sleep, the coolant grate again slides open and the little monkey enters the meat locker with his burlap blanket.

    "You!" you shout at him venemously.  "You little traitor!"

    The monkey cowers under your harsh words.

    "Go on!" you shout.  "Get out!  And take your damn blanket!  I'd rather freeze here alone than share a bed with a two-faced simian like you!"

    "Eep!  Eep!" cries the monkey as it scurries back over to the grate.

    "Go!" you shout.

    The monkey climbs back inside the cooling grate and scampers off.

    That night before you sleep, you locate the loose screws on the floor of the meat locker, and screw them back in the grate.

    Days go by, and you do the House of Pizza receipts, and get fed a minimal amount of pizza and Diet Pepsi to subsist on.  And every night the little monkey comes to the grate and eeps at you, but you resolutely ignore him until he goes away.

    Finally, one night weeks later, you are drifting off to sleep when you hear the screws of the grate getting slowly loosened.

    You angrily crawl over to the grate and shout at the monkey until he runs off in fear.

    And then when he is gone, you notice something.

    The burlap blanket is on your side of the grate.

    All this time, that little monkey was just trying to give you the blanket?

    You curl up underneath the blanket's warmth, and get some sleep.

    The next night the little monkey again comes to the grate.  But he does not eep.  He just stares at you.

    You crawl over to the grate.

    "Hello, little monkey," you say.  "Thank you for the blanket.  I'm sorry I shouted at you.  Here, I'll unscrew the grate."

    You let the little monkey inside the meat locker, and immediately he pounces on you, giving you a big monkey hug.

    "Woah, woah, little guy," you say.  "You've still got some explaining to do."

    The monkey settles down and sits beside you.

    "What was up with chaining me to the floor?  Who's side are you on anyhow?  Mine or the Greeks?" you ask him.

    The monkey jumps up and down and eeps, trying to explain himself, but you can't follow.

    Then the monkey grabs your pencil and notepad.

    To your amazement, the monkey can write!

    "I'm sorry about chaining you to the floor that night," writes the monkey.  "But after that night we shared together, I thought it was the only way to keep you here with me."

    "How did you get here?" you ask him.

    "The Papamagaritus family stole me from the Athens Zoo.  They wanted me because I can write and do math," explains the monkey.  "But then one of them, Christos, took a real liking to me -- if you know what I mean  -- and decided to make me his personal companion, and so ever since then they've been looking for a replacement to do the receipts."

    "So," you ask him.  "Are we stuck here forever?"

    "No," writes the monkey.  "I've been planning our escape for weeks -- ever since the night we spent together.  Hold still."

    The monkey pulls a key out of his butt and unlocks your chain.

    "I've chipped away at the wall on the other side of the grate," writes the monkey.  "But I need your strength to break it down."

    You nod to the monkey, and then take a few steps back.

    Then you throw yourself forward into the wall.

    <<CRASH!>>

    It topples down and you fall through to the outside.

    The monkey eeps with joy.

    You stagger to your feet and shake the debris off of you.

    Just then an alarm sounds.

    "Come on, little buddy!" you shout to the monkey.

    The monkey eeps, and then writes something down on the pad of paper.

    "Come on, little dude!" you say.  "They're coming!"

    You hold out your arms and the monkey runs toward you.

    But just then the Greeks appear behind the little monkey, and they have guns.

    You dive for cover.

    The little monkey never sees it coming as he's ruthlessly gunned down.  The notepad in his hand falls in front of you.

    You grab it and make a run for it as fast as you can.

    The shouting of the Greeks and the gunfire get farther and farther away, and by the time you reach Poppy's house it has ceased.

    You rush in the back door into the kitchen.

    Poppy is there making himself a sandwich.

    "Jesus, Brad," he says.  "Would you put some pants on?"

    You go to the phone, pick it up, and dial the police, but Sarah's on the upstairs extension talking to Toomey.

    "Sarah, I need the phone."

    "Yeah, whateva, Brad.  I'll be off in an hour."

    You go upstairs and wrestle the phone away from Sarah.

    "Aagh!" says Sarah.  "You're ass-nekked!"

    She runs.

    You call the police and report the Greeks, and tell of your two month captivity at the Sharon House of Pizza.

    The police say they'll look into it.

    You call the police several hours later and they inform you that the Sharon House of Pizza has been abandoned, and there are no sign of any Greeks.  They tell you that a new sign is in the window which says "Coming soon: PizzaGando's".

    Exhausted, you head down to the basement to sleep.

    As you crawl into your favorite spot, it occurs to you to look at the notepad that the little monkey wrote in just before he kicked the bucket.  You pull it out and read the mokey's last words:

    I'm pregnant.