The elevator doors close.

    Suddenly...

    <<thwack!>>

    <<biff!>>

    <<POW!>>

    <<crunch>>

    ...

    The next thing you know, you and Merv are alone in the elevator.  Merv is in the corner with a large bump on his forehead.  Your sack hurts, but you've almost grown immune to that feeling.

    "Merv, wake up, man!"

    Merv slowly comes-to.

    "Marty?  What the hell just happened?"

    "I... I don't know..."

    You both get out of the elevator at the lobby and walk outside.

    "Dude!" says Merv.  "She took your van!"

    You look all around, but there is no sign of your van.

    "Aw, man!"

    "Marty, I told you to wait out here," says Merv.

    "Merv, you were in there for five hours!"

    "Sometimes it takes me that long to get it up!  A life in the porn industry does have its effects on a guy, you know."

    "Merv, you only made 2 films!"

    "I only starred in a couple.  I was in hundreds!"

    "Oh..."

    "Look, man, I'm sorry about your van."

    "It's cool," you say.  "It's not your fault."

    You and Merv make the best of a bad situation and take turns giving each other piggy-back rides until you reach home.

    As you reach Poppy's house, you notice something strange.  The van's there!

    You and Merv rush over to it, and on the steering wheel is a note:

    You guys were great in that elevator.
    Would have been up for more, but
    you guys were too exhausted.
                        Love,
                                    Elmira

    "Woah," you say.  "Merv, did we score?"

    "Um... I guess so..."

    "Cool."

    "Yeah."

    You and Merv part ways, confused, but happy.

    You head down to the basement, crawl into your favorite spot, curl up, and go to sleep for the night confused and happy.