Alluring thoughts of your sister Pam float through your head pleasingly...

    Mmmmmmm...

    Ahhhhhhhhhh...

    But then... you can't help but think of... Sammy, your illegitimate son by Pam.

    Ashamed of his own wrongful existence, to this day he wanders the streets of Sharon with a paper bag over his head.  Will he ever come home?  Can he ever come to terms with his licentious parentage?

    The emotions come on strong.

    Soon you are in tears.

    The hairy Greek men notice your abrubt change in mood and stop their self-pleasuring -- all but one of them who is just too carried away, but he politely moves elsewhere to continue in privacy.

    Even the little monkey eeps sympathetically.

    "Eep."

    The Greeks gather 'round you as you tell them your woeful tale.

    "Brothers," you begin, "I am saddended by thoughts of my bastard son walking the streets of a cold world without a family to turn to for support, and with a paper bag over his head."

    The Greek men listen to you intently, but have trouble following.

    To illustrate the point, you place your underwear over your head.

    The Greeks do the same with theirs.

    "I long to reach out to him... to give him a long fatherly embrace... to let him know he is accepted... and yet I know that if I tried this, I would be resolutely shunned away.  For Sammy is a troubled spirit, and will surely not receive me... his father, his uncle..."

    "Unka..." mimics on of the Greek men.

    "Eep," says the little monkey.

    "Brothers," you say, "I must leave you now.  A father has certain duties which he must uphold if he is to walk with his head held high.  And while I don't think I'll be doing any of those duties any time soon,  I sure am hungry, so I'm gonna head over to Sandy's and raid her fridge, so if you'll excuse me..."

    You start to walk past them when suddenly nothing happens.

    In fact, nothing happens so suddenly you don't even notice it - it's as if nothing had happened at all.

    But if nothing ever happened, then how could that lead to what's happening now?

    And if what's happening now isn't actually happening, then...

    Oh, no!


You have realized that you don't exist.

Your final score is: