Elmira giggles.

    Merv is totally dejected as you hop into the elevator with his woman.

    The elevator doors haven't even closed before Elmira attacks you, ripping off your "Four Days of Fat" t-shirt, and yanking off your undies.

    She proceeds to have intercourse with you in 72 different positions before the elevator reaches the ground floor.

    Exhausted, smiling, but somewhat confused, you collapse butt-nekked in the corner of the elevator as Elmira exits at the ground floor.

    The elevator climbs back up and when it reaches the top floor, the doors open and there stands Merv.

    "Marty!" he says.  "Are you all right?"

    "I guess so," you say.

    Merv helps you up, and notices the jizz coated walls of the elevator.

    "Damn," says Merv.  "I couldn't get to first base with her."

    The two of you head back down to the ground level.  You walk butt-nekked through the lobby, your clothes in hand.  You come back to where you parked the van, but it's not there.

    "Dude!" says Merv.  "She stole your van!  I knew she wouldn't actually do you over me!  She took you for the van, Marty!"

    "Nah," you say.  "She just went down the street for some beef jerky.  Here she comes now."

    Elmira drives the van back to where it was, and steps out.

    She tosses you some beef jerky and heads back into the hotel.

    "Good night, Elmira," you say.

    "Goodnight, Morty," says Elmira.

    You and Merv drive back to Sharon.  You feel bad for Merv, so you let him bogart the beef jerky.

    "Marty," says Merv when you drop him off.  "Welcome to America."

    You drive home and head down to the basement.  You crawl into your favorite spot, curl up, and go to sleep for the night.