He's a latino serpent of love.

    And that's not his monkey.

    Two of the Greeks grab you and hold your arms while the rest line up to pummel you.

    The first in line is mustachioed man with giant Popeye-like forearms.  He lays into you hard.

    Second in line is an extremely tall who man uses his arms like hammers beating down on your head.

    Third is a rotund man, shirtless, and coated in a thick layer of sweat.  He gets a running start and plows into you painfully.

    Fourth is the man who you thought was Ricardo.  He is short and bald, but what hair he lacks on his head, he more than makes up for on his chest.  He punches you straight on, which, unfortunately, is right at crotch-level.

    Finally, last in line is the little monkey.  He jumps on your head, pulls your ears and bites your nose.  Eeping wildly the whole time.

    <<EEP!  EEP!  EEP!  EEP!  EEP!  EEP!>>

    Thouroughly beaten, you pass out.
 
    ...

    You wake up an indeterminate amount of time later, lying on the ground right outside the back enterance of the Sharon House of Pizza.

    You slowly rise, aching all over, and walk back to Poppy's house.

    When you get there, you head right upstairs to the bathroom.

    After pissing blood, you look at yourself in the mirror, and that's when -- along with all your new cuts and bruises -- you notice you're wearing a different t-shirt than before.

    On the front it says:

    "I WENT TO THE SHARON HOUSE OF PIZZA"

    And the back says:

    "...AND GOT BEATEN BY SIX HAIRY GREEK MEN AND A MONKEY"

    Below these words is a picture of all six men and the little monkey.  They are all smiling and waving.

    Still extremely sore and light-headed, you stumble backward and fall into the tub, unconscious.