You'll just have to accept the fact that life just doesn't want you to win.

    "I'm gonna put these back," you tell Buddy.

    "OK," says Buddy.  "...Next customer."

    Dejected, you walk back home.

    When you reach the house, you head for the basement door, but when you get there, then your realize that it's gone.

    Not just the door, but the whole basement -- gone.

    "Damnedest thing," says Poppy coming around the side of the house smoking his pipe.

    "Wha-- what happened?" you say, shaking your head in utter disbelief.

    "I was just sitting in the living room watching golf, and the then suddenly the whole house just collapses down a level.  Wiped out the whole basement.  ...We're just lucky we don't keep anything important down there," says Poppy.

    Nothing important?!

    Your whole life is in there!

    Your spirit crushed, you walk over to the mulch pile, lie down, pull out a lighter from the back of your underwear, and set it ablaze in a massive funeral pyre for yourself.

    "Aw, shit," says Poppy, seeing the fire.  "I was gonna use that mulch."
 

Your final score is:

3 1/2