"Yeah," you say.
"Well," he says, "they didn't look too hot in that game against Toronto the other night. But that McKenzie is just a terrible third baseman. If they were able to trade him with, say, Goodwin from Michigan -- then they'd have a team. But that won't happen as long as Morgan is the coach. I've followed his career since he played for Seattle back in the 50s. He wasn't a bad ballplayer, but he sure can't manage a team. That's just a different skill. Now you look at a team like the Cardinals. Their coach was really only a journeyman relief pitcher in the double-A league. I think he only played one or two games for the Brewers around 1973, but, boy, there's a guy who knows what to do with a baseball team. If the Sox could pick up somebody like that, then maybe we'd have a chance at getting organized. Right now this team needs a new third basemen, a decent catcher, and a designated hitter. I hate that fella, Robertson. Boy, the way he stands there up at the plate with his elbows about this high, you'd think he was swinging at a softball. He hit .312 for the Dodgers, but since he came to Boston he hasn't seen above .270. That's what I'm talking about, see, if we could dump some of the team's excess baggage, and focus on a few of the real sluggers... then we might have a chance at the pennant. In last night's game with Oakland you should have seen how they handled Ryerman's curve ball. I don't think even one of those Red Sox batters knows what to do with a curve ball. They had a field day lobbing that one past them. It's really not the players' fault so much as it is the manager's, though, in my opinion. You look at how the Rangers work the outfield. I don't think there's a team that's gotten more than six runs past them this season. I remember back in '62, the Mets had eighteen men on base at once, and couldn't knock a single run in. It's that kind of thing that keeps a team out of the pennant race. I mean, if it's seventh inning and your worst three are due at the plate, are you gonna throw in a pinch hit or tell the first batter to try to let the ball hit him and get the walk. It's not even a question if you're looking at a two run lead. Sacrifice the left fielder and get the ball out of the bull pen. Rodriguez is good for a few innings, but he tires too easily. You can't throw heat all afternoon and expect a guy to strike out the line in the 8th. You know what happens if the ball hits a guy in the groin and then falls over the fence? It's called a 'groin-rule double'. But that Meyerson's an asshole if he keeps Hank Barrett for another year. We're almost at the all-star game and the Sox have lost six more games than they've even played. If a pitcher walks the first two batters of a game, then on the 4th pitch it's a fly ball to the short stop, the game's automatically rained out. They didn't have those stupid rules when I was growing up. But there was that scandal back then where 19 ball players were caught trying to throw the world series so they could end the season sooner, and get on with their lives. The Expos used to be known as the Mork Whiffs when they played in Banff, but that was before I was born. The important thing is that if it's 3 and 2, you gotta choke up on the dugout because the longball isn't going to send in the RBIs if you can't visit the mound with at least a base on balls."
"Yeah," you say. "Just hasn't been the same since Buck Rodgers dropped the ball back in '86."
"Bill Buckner," says Poppy.
"Doesn't make any difference," you say.