Let's face it.  These days there just aren't too many good reasons to leave the basement.

    Ever since they cancelled Webster, TV's a joke.

    Every time you go upstairs, Pam kicks you in the sack.

    You could dig in the mulch pile, maybe, but Poppy might mistake you for a groundhog and beat the hell out of you with a hoe.

    Go dig in the mulchpile.

    Go watch TV.

    Stay in the basement.  See what happens.