You run over to the front door of the house and head inside.

    Over in the living room sits Poppy watching golf on TV.

    "Dad!" you say.  "There's a tank outside!  It's gonna blow up the house!"

    "Jesus, Brad, will you quit making a racket!" snaps Poppy.

    "But Dad!  He's gonna shoot the house down!"

    Poppy uses the remote to turn up the volume on the TV, trying to drown you out.

    "Dad!  Listen to me!" you shout, jumping up and down in front of the TV set.

    Poppy moves his head back and forth, trying to watch TV around you.

    "It's Bud, Dad!  He's gonna--"

    "Bud?!" shouts Poppy, alarmed.  "Why didn't you say so, dammit?"

    Just then...

    <<BLAM!>>

    Bud's tank fires through the window of the front room.

    Amid much destruction, and the front end of the house collapses.

    "Goddamn," says Poppy.

    He takes his smoking pipe from the table next to him and twists the end of it sideways, revealing a miniscule control pad.

    He hits two buttons simultaneously, and a land mine explodes under Bud's tank, blowing it skyward.

    "That asshole brother of mine..." mutters Poppy.  "If he comes back, I want to hear about, you got me, Brad?"

    "Uh, yeah, Dad," you say.

    "Now go see if there are any casualties.  And get that front end of the house repaired ASAP."

    "Uh, right," you say nodding.

    Fortunately, after sifting through the rubble, the only casualties you find are Sarah's pet fishes and "Dabe" who was asleep under Sarah's bed, and only suffered minor bruises and scrapes.

    Redoing the front section of the house takes all afernoon.  You have to cancel the plans you made with Merv to investigate Pam & Milton's sexual history.

    But there's always another day.

    Looking over your reconstruction work later that evening, Poppy says to you:

    "Brad, this is really shoddy work, and I'll be surprised if I don't bring the whole thing down as soon as I walk up the front stairs, but I want you to know you did something important today that may have saved Powell Camp... you stayed clear of it -- ha! ha! ha!" laughs Poppy.

    You smile slightly.

    "No seriously," says Poppy, slapping you hard on the back.  "Bud Powell is a wretched and evil being from a place worse than hell.  And you did your part in driving him out of here this morning."

    "Thanks, Dad," you say.

    "Thank you, son," says Poppy.

    Just then, Sarah comes home.

    "What the hell did you do to my room?  Brad, you asshole!"

    Poppy gives Sarah a swift boot in the ass, and you both share a hearty chuckle.