"OK... let me see..."

    The receptionist scans through some names on a computer screen.

    "Nope.  We have no Stevens staying with us tonight."

    Oh, well.

    You head back to the van.

    About 4 more hours go by, and you fall asleep in the van.

    Just after the break of dawn, Merv finally comes back to the van.

    "Hey, Marty... wake up, man!"

    "Hunh?  Merv?"

    "Dude, she wants more.  It's your turn."

    "Really?"

    "Nah."

    "Oh."

    You start up the van and head back to Sharon.

    "Was she hot?" you ask him.

    "And fat," says Merv.

    Wow.  Merv gets all the chicks.

    You get back to Sharon and stop at Merv's.

    "Hey, Merv."

    "Yeah, Marty?"

    "What's you last name?"

    "My last name?"

    "Yeah, what is it?"

    "Dude, when you're famous like me, you don't need a last name."

    "Oh..." you say.  "Like Webster."

    "Exactly," says Merv.

    "OK, well, thanks for letting me tag along tonight."

    "See ya, Marty," says Merv, and he heads inside.

    You drive back home and park the van, then head down to the basement.

    You crawl into your favorite spot, curl up, reflect for a few minutes about how cool Merv is, and then drift off to sleep.