The two of you shake hands.

    You both walk out to the middle of the street and then stand ass to ass.

    "Ten paces?" asks Merv.

    "Ten paces," you say.

    You each put your hand on your one-shooters and take a step away from each other.

    "One... two..." you announce as you continue away from each other, "three... four... five..."

    You work your weapon skillfully, stroking the barrel, psyching yourself up for the big moment.

    "Six... seven... eight..."

    Woah... easy there, fella.  Don't wanna pull the trigger to soon.

    "Nine..."

    You hope all these years of practice pay off...

    "Ten!"

    You spin around, but Merv is hot.

    He shoots first and you are hit.

    You go down in a blaze of glory, falling backwards and coating the street and  cars around you in a layer of creamy buttermilk goodness.

    Sandy, hearing the shots, rushes out of the house.

    She sees your fallen body on the ground and rushes over to your side.

    "Brad!" she shouts.  "Brad... say something."

    She craddles you in her arms.

    Merv walks over to you, putting his penis back in his pants.

    "Sorry, Brad," he says.  "I hate to cut you down like this... but Sandy's house is only big enough for one man."

    Just then Merv is knocked down by a white wall of gooey cream.

    Milton J. Papamagaritus steps out the door of Sandy's house.

    "New sheriff in town," says Milton smiling.

    "Why!" shouts Sandy, wailing.  "Why so much violence?!"

    Sandy breaks down and cries over the bodies of her fallen lovers.

    Milton walks over and looks down at the bodies of you and Merv.

    He shakes his head.

    Then he mounts Sandy.

    "Hi-ya!"

    They ride off into the sunset.
 

Your final score is:

422