You're pretty sure it was some show on PBS, so it was probably true. (Actually it was an episode of Taxi).
So with your survival instinct running strong, you drop your undies and start bopping the bologna.
Feels pretty good.
And soon you are generating heat, keeping warm, and thawing out the place.
Soon a cloud of steam envelopes the meat locker.
And then...
<<creeeak>>
The door opens.
It's too foggy
to see who's there, but you hear two gruff voices in Greek getting closer.