You go outside and hop in your van.
The old thing starts right up, and you motor on over to Noam's house.
You walk right in and head to Noam's room. You enter and see Noam masturbating on his bed.
"Agh! Dad!" he says in surprise.
"Hey," you say. "Is that the December issue of Hot & Fat?"
"January," says Noam.
"Hey, I need some pants," you say, and begin rifling through Noam's dresser.
"Really?" says Noam. "I was gonna start walking around pantless, too, just to be more like my ol' man."
"Hey, there's no proof I'm your father, Noam. That's pure speculation."
"Whatever, Dad," says Noam. "Anyhow, help yourself."
You pull out a pair of jeans and pull them on.
They fit, except for the crotch. It feels ten sizes too tight.
"Are these men's jeans or what?" you ask.
Noam has resumed masturbating.
"Think so. They fit me just fine," he says.
You pull them up as hard as you can. They finally come up, but the crotch tears right up the seam, and your underwear drops through visibly.
You decide it's cool.
Noam finishes masturbating.
"Hey, Dad, can I take the van tonight? Me, Sarah, and Toomey are going to shmoke some inubrius down at The Bluffs."
"I thought Toomey told you to keep your ass away from Sarah."
"No, no, it's cool now. In fact, he even said I could have her when he goes away to college in Colorado this September."
"That's pretty cool... but think about it, dude: if I am you father, then you and Sarah are both brothers with Sammy Powell, and that's damn near incest."
"Look who's talking, Dad."
"I'm not saying that -- I'm just not sure that's a road you wanna be taking is all."
"Well, we'll see," says Noam.
"All right," you say. "Hey, here's five dollars for gas. Have a good time at The Bluffs. I used to bring some women there myself back in the day..."
"Yeah, right, Dad," says Noam.
"Well... Sandy," you say sheepishly.
"And then came me," says Noam.
"You don't know that, boy! ...Anyhow, see you later," you say, exiting his room.
"See you, Dad," says Noam as he pulls out another issue of Hot & Fat and begins masturbating again.
You leave the van with Noam.
What do you want to do now?