"OK... let me see..."
The receptionist scans through some names on a computer screen.
"We have one Roper staying with us tonight... a Stuart Roper."
Hmmm. Maybe Merv is using an alias. He's cool like that.
"What room is that?"
"612."
"Thanks, man."
You head to the elevator, and get on board.
A muzak version of 500 Miles by the Proclaimers is playing. Cool.
You reach the top floor and the doors open.
You walk down the hallway and find room 612 and try the door, but it's locked.
You go up on one leg taking a swan-kick pose and are about to boot the door down Ralph Machio-style when down the hall, out of another room, comes Merv.
"Merv!"
"Marty!"
And then from behind Merv comes a total bombshell.
"Elmira?" you gasp.
"Is that that 'Morty' you mentioned? He sure is cute," says Elmira to Merv. Her voice is low and husky -- just like her breasts.
Merv tries to signal to you to get out of here.
Elmira walks right up to you. She is dressed in kinky negligee that you can almost see right through. Merv looks distressed as she slowly saunters around you, her nipples brushing against your back, giving you a huge woody that cracks the ice in your underwear into pieces.
Merv hears it and his eyes bulge.
"Merv tells me you have a van," says Elmira. "...Can I get a ride?"
"Yeah... not a problem," you gush.
You and Elmira walk toward the elevator.
"Hey, uh, can I tag along?" says Merv.
Elmira rolls
her eyes.